the devil’ll wear you out with worry.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12
Even to your old age and grey hairs, I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Isaiah 46:4

I love that scripture is alive. I took this photo back in March and these two verses were definitely the inspiration for it. But I forgot to post it, and only recently did I think back to it. The scripture is still applicable today, as new thoughts and worries enter my heart. There’s always something new to worry about, isn’t there?

At first, the two chairs simply represented having the opportunity to grow old with the Lord, to gain wisdom and peace with each passing day alongside Him. But I’m a worrier, so I quickly forgot these lovely thoughts. Last night, I heard a sermon and the preacher said, “The Devil will wear you out with worry if you let him.” I am an odd bird, and I rarely have a thought that I don’t over analyze. So worrying becomes a trap for me, because it’s not just the worry. For example, a simple worry I had recently is Hm…I haven’t heard from my roommate today, I wonder if I’ll be home alone tonight… No big deal, right? But then, after about 45 seconds of worrying my sympathetic nervous system kicks in and I’m all like Holy cuss, I literally have no friends and I bet all my friends are posing for a cute instagram photo right now at something I didn’t get invited to because I’m too lame and no one wants to be around someone who worries as much as me I mean look at me right now and oh my gosh I’m going to die alone. I probably won’t even get to heaven because look at me worrying right now I don’t read my bible enough because someone who does wouldn’t be worrying like this right now.

Yeah, I really wish I could say I was exaggerating but even as I type all of that out, I realize how often I have those thoughts! And you know where those thoughts take me? Nowhere. Here’s a riddle for you: what moves frantically and doesn’t move an inch? In those moments, it’s me because the Devil is having his way with me as I run around in one of those damned hamster wheels. Satan wants nothing more than to preoccupy me with the useless. So it’s lovely to think of me inviting the Lord to sit with me in those two chairs but all too often I’m begging the Devil to sit right there with me, hold my hand, and tell me the same thing over and over again because for some reason, my first instinct is to believe the lies. Maybe because hamster wheelin’ it is easier than trusting. At least then I’m doing something in response.

Worry will wear.you.out.

But only if you let it. I’m learning to invite the Lord in those moments, to laugh when I feel my pulse and breathing quicken. It’s not forgetting the worry. God doesn’t want me to be fake. But it’s accepting the worries for what they are and opening my hands loose enough to let God in a little bit. It’s sitting down, taking a breath, and being in silence in the presence of the One who will always care for me.

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