My favorite scene from Downton Abbey is when Carson follows a trail of smoke only to discover Ms. Hughes trying out her new electric toaster. To her, it is something new and exciting. To him, it represents the unknown, changing times ahead. Is it not enough that we are sheltering a dangerous revolutionary, Ms. Hughes? Could you not have spared me that?
I’m going to be moving soon, and it’s a big deal for me. It’s all sorts of exciting and scary at the same time. My good friend just made a similar move today, actually. A couple weeks ago he posted this quote, and it sums up what I’m trying to say better than I can say it on my own:
“Always, in the big woods when you leave familiar ground and step off alone into a new place there will be, along with feelings of curiosity and excitement, a little nagging of dread. It is the ancient fear of the unknown and it is your first encounter with the wilderness you are going into.” -Wendell Berry
Sometimes I feel like Ms. Hughes and her toaster: curious and excited because I’ve embraced the unknown with arms wide open. Most of the time, though, I feel like Carson: full of nagging dread. Those Carson moments pass and I’m able to remember why I’m making this move in the first place. But the only way I make it through those moments is by remembering that I’ve been seeking the Lord out in this whole process. Even if I make the wrong choice, if I’m continuing to seek him out, he’ll always lead me home. And even if there is a lot that is unknown still, trusting him becomes a bit more familiar every day.